It's only weak people who like to be tied up

In my experience, the people who generally like to be tied the most, are those (to an extent) who you'd probably least expect.

There may be some general indications you could spot, such as:
- those gazing intently at the rope/chain section of your local DIY store,
- those who inadvertently tying their feet together with a scarf whilst casually chatting,
- those who seem to know more about knots that you'd expect,
- those who had a major tendency from an early age to always play 'cops and robbers' or 'cowboys and indians' and somehow would always be the one tied up, ...

However, in my experience, the people I meet who like to be tied the most, and seem to get the most out of the experience, are those to are often very successful, intelligent people, in control of their daily life and life choices. They're normally very driven, quite often in senior positions in their work whatever field that may be (head-teachers, senior computer programmers, doctors, specialist researchers, senior business managers and entrepreneurs, etc.).

Quite often, it's also the people you'd often 'least expect' to the casual observer. They may seem very much conservative / formal / innocent / etc. But yet, what they do in their private life can be very different. You might even ask them, but they're highly unlikely to give you an honest answer in 'public'.

Also, those who you may most expect (ie dressed head to toe in leather or PVC, always wearing a choke collar, with the goth look, punk look, etc.) is not a reliable indication of them being into bondage at all!



Strangely I also rarely find people interested in bondage/tieing who are stuck in a boring 9-5 office job year in year out. They're switched on, decisive, know what they want and aren't afraid to go and get it. There's also a very significant number who are young, attractive, and not at all nieve (even if the TV 'documentaries' do tend to show overweight sweaty balding men in their 50s always being the ones being tied).

To fully 'give up control' by being tied by someone else, I find you have to have a lot of self-control, power and belief in yourself to do so, and of course trust and respect in both yourself, and the other person. There's really not any fun in tieing up a 'wet blanket' as it were.


In my experience, people see the opportunity to be tied as a 'release' and 'escape' to the normal control they have in their daily life.
- A chance to relax and let go.
- A chance to fully release themselves into the pleasure of the moment. To enjoy the sensations and experiences purely for those reasons.
- To not have to think about what to do next, or where/how to touch (they're most likely tied down, so unable to do much, move about much, or touch much!).
- Similarly, they don't need to worry about how they look, if their bum looks big in this position, etc. (as that's 'out of their control' too, and blindfolds may often be used).
- Of course when bound, very often they don't need to worry about what to say or what may be said, as they may often be gagged too!

All in all, I certainly wouldn't say it's weak / needy people who like to be tied up by another, rather the opposite.
Quite often it's the strong, successful, self-made, 'people in control' who get the greatest release by being bound.

Some of the mis-conceptions about bondage

I was thinking today, about some of the many misconceptions about bondage, and thought that this would probably be a good place to put a few of them down.

I've also noticed that the word 'bondage' is often seen as dirty / obscene / crude things to do by weirdos and freaks, and is only ever done as part of sadomasochistic practices.

I remember driving one day, many years ago, with a car full of young women all talking about sex and such like. The conversation moved on to fantasies, when one of them piped up "oh I hate all that bondage" to which the others agreed and described how weird it was, etc.. Then after a very short while, someone else mentioned "but it's great being tied up" to which every passenger quickly agreed and shared a flavour of their own personal experiences in being tied up.


'Bondage' is only a small part of the term 'BDSM', which stands for 'Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism'.
You can have any of these four sections by themselves. You can also have pretty much any combination of the four.
Of course also, because one person may be into one thing, doesn't mean they're just a moment away from all the others!

Those 'in the scene' (ie regular members of bondage related forums, social groups, etc.) often refer to another mantra of 'SSC'. This describes quite simply that all experiences should be 'Safe, Sane, and Consensual'.
SAFE - Nothing should every be unsafe - ie multiple release mechanisms are available at all times, such as all purpose scissors that have been tested in advance, never leave a bound person un-attended, nothing is to be tied around the front of the neck, good circulation at all areas of the body should be checked regularly, 'safe-words' are available for immediate release without questions, etc
SANE - Everything should be Sane - ie never whilst under the influence of drugs or alcohol, all people involved should be of 'sound mind', etc.
CONSENSUAL - of course regardless of the fantasy stories apparently to the contrary, all play must be consensual, between consenting adults, with boundaries and limits established in advance.


Throughout these pages, these thoughts are of course based from my experience over the years I've been interested and learning more. Situations are of course different for every couple/person/group/.. so always ensure an open communication with your partner prior to proceeding with anything you may read or see on this or any other website.

To help keep things easier to navigate, I will provide each of these sections as new posts, to follow.

I hope to cover in my following posts, the following topics:

• Is it only weak people who like to be tied?
• Who's really in control when someone's tied up?
• Why be tied up? Why tie another person up?
• Who gets the most pleasure?
• Is it safe? How can I make it safer?
  
• How can I tie up my partner / get my partner to tie me up?
• What should I use to tie?